COMCAST NIGHTMARE

Ive had Comcast Cable at my home 4 times this week, and over 10 times
since July 24th. This is how it goes. I call (area code) Com-Cast and push
buttons until the menu says, "to upgrade service or add channels press 3"

I press 3. I immediatly get a human. She asks me the 45 questions, and
I answer them all until she says "How may I help you today?"

I say, I would like to upgrade my cable to the one that works"

She asks if Im having problems, and I say "Yes, I have had problems
since July 24th. 10 different technicians have been here, and it still doesnt
work" She says, "Would you like to scedule a service Sir?"

I say, "Sure, but dont send another truck driver over here. I need a video
engineer. I do video engineering for network television, and the last technician
that came here didnt know what a 75ohm coax terminator was, nor was he
familiar with latency, or intermittent interference, RF, GSM, none of that!
So we need to do something different this time. Can I speak with a supervisor?

her: "No, we dont transfer calls, I can place you on a callback list"

me: "Ok"

her: "Is there anything else I can help you with today"

me: Is there a video engineer or anybody with a college degree
in engineering that I can talk to?"

her: "I can schedule an appt with a technician"

me: "10 technicians have been here, they cant fix it"

her: "Would you like a new cable box"

me: "Do you mean a receiver!!!!?
...


Anyway, it gets ugly. I lose my cool. I know I cant win. Just go to
Youtube and type in Comcast. Or Google Comcast Problems. Its
not just stupid kids at cash registers.

Oranse

RANT ON MWS&M

Now that I really have more than a month until my next job, I've been
shooting my own stuff the past couple of days. Youtube videos, fishing
videos, sketches, drugged up relatives, B-roll, chicks in thongs, time
lapses, backyard stuff.
Just today, I was driving to go buy a carton of cigarettes, I look
over and there are two old fellas about to fight in their front lawn.
Beers placed down, pushing, pointing, and shoving.... I stop the car
and grab the PD150. I always clean my car windows incase I have to
shoot something so they are clear. I lift the camera up to me eye, and
a little voice on my shoulder says, "what the fuck are you doing?
Leave those drunk old fuckers alone before you get shot"

I put the camera down, and thought for 2 and one quarter seconds. I
said to myself, "yeah, what the fuck am I doing!? Can I get any lower
as a cinematographer than filming two Florida Crackers fighting in
their front lawn?"

I drove to the Indian Reservation, picked up my smokes, and drove home
with the iPod off. I tried to think of something worthfuckingwhile to
shoot. Reality, reality, reality. I got a friend that just became head
of development at a Network....but thats reality or documentary only.

FUCK THE FUCKING REALITY!!

I need a friend at Lions Gate. You motherfuckers are all my co-
dependents now! You all sat back and watched as I sunk lower and lower
into entertainment hell, and none of you ever said a word. When I came
to MWS I was a filmmaker dammit. I spit-on over-under cable wrapping.
I carry light meters, not C-Stands. Then it happened... I got the tech
job on the ABC show, and it was a decent show, it was 2003. Then the
week the show was supposed to premier, the US invaded Ir*q.

Look at me now, the light meter is covered with dust, and I dont even
have a printer that works. That fancy mechanical pencil I was supposed
to get, well they dont got it! Now I gotta re-download my brain for
writing, sit by the pool for 14 days, re-read ON WRITING. Re-read
McKee, Field, Press, Martel, and then begin a first draft?

Get it together Shemps. Moe Money Moe Problems. Im gonna do what I do,
make history, and sit down and crank out pages. But I suck at writing
original stuff. If any of you had hair #1 between your legs you would
step up to the the plate strong and throw me something, anything. Just
get it together and get it over the plate.

Dont be a Butt-frank. I got 16mm film gear and I'm cocked and loaded
to shoot the right project. Hit me up, my email is real. If we have
already talked about doing something, lets talk again. The calander is
a whore that never stops. Get your shit together. Otherwise, Im just
gonna shoot something derivitive that I wrote.

MAKING THE MOVIE

July 29th - We are making a movie. Thats all I know. I dont even know what kind of a movie its gonna be. First things first Im gonna need a screenplay. For the past month or so I have been making calls to acquire a original screenplay. No luck. I trolled for action on the Usenet moderated screenwriters group and have gotten some positive feedback.

This Blog is gonna be the production diary, detailing what its gonna take to make the movie. Thanks for readng it.